2017 – A flashback

As I write this post on 01Jan2018, I cannot help but lookback at 2017. It’s been a rollercoaster of a ride.

2017 was a lot to take – overwhelming work, some experiments here and there, and a lot of disappointments. When I had everything planned out for the next couple of years, it all came crashing post August. I had to deal with the changes, with the unexpected twists and turns. And yet I stand tall. Whoever said “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” – was absolutely right.

I had the pleasure of travelling widely. I had travelled to Kuala Lumpur , Kuching & Port Dickson (All @ Malaysia). They weren’t even planned trips; quite impulsive ones. I’m working on starting a travel blog series where I share my experiences (Let’s say “Under Construction”). Kuala Lumpur was with one of the best bunch of crazy friends I’ve ever had –  given that we all considered missing our flight to Singapore for the very own “Anjappar” Biriyani!! Kuching was a beautiful trip full of surprises, where I dared to Kayak 11 km, despite having a harrowing fear of deep waters. I managed very well, thanks to a supportive friend. Kayaking the course of the Sarawak river was so pleasurable – I felt as though I was entering a dream with clear flowing waters, glassy rains and beautiful mountains. The greenery and the calm was a gentle reminder to what I always loved – nature at its best. Port Dickson was one of a kind trip, where we booked an amazing resort, with a view by the beach & celebrated the NY2018 countdown with fireworks by the beach, dance and a lot of fun! Not to mention, the calming walks by the beach and random musings about life and 2017.

I’ve always considered myself a very lucky person. Though I’ve now come to accept that life’s all about living it and not planning it, I look forward to a very beautiful 2018 where I hope to travel as widely as possible, reach heights in my career and find love that stays forever! 🙂


13 Reasons Why – Why I love this!

Spoiler Alert

Yes, I have watched the new Netflix series “13 Reasons Why” Season 1 in about 2 and a half days, and I must say that it has been one of the best series I’ve ever watched till now. Here are a few highlights I feel the need to discuss –

  • Spotlight on the most taken for granted issue in society. Depression is something that’s a part of everyone. What with the society standards, personal standards, family standards – there’s a lot to keep up, and there is always one part of silence in us that screams loud if not ignored. What I love about this series is that it doesn’t talk of depression as taboo, or as a straight cut cowardly thing. It shows how depression builds up, how after umpteen number of tries you still find yourself unable to come out of. Personally, I do not encourage the “suicidal” intentions that spin off of depression. But hey, you can never know how strong the person is, or what they are dealing with, right?
  • Spotlight on suicide awareness. There have been mixed responses to this series – because of the explicit scenes and all teenage drama that can really get to you. But, nothing is more welcoming than the naked truth. Speak for yourself – I’m sure you can related to one of the many things that have happened – if you’ve ever been to high school. There’s a lot of drama, cultural influences (I’m an Indian – so I speak of the western culture as an influence here) and potty mouthing that leads up to a variety of incidences that are finally summed up as the “Butterfly effect”.
  • The lead pair performances. Dylan Minnette and Katherine Langford have played their part wonderfully. Hannah Baker (Katherine) is an attractive young female with the normal ‘I’m an adolescent who wants some attention from guys’ mindset. Clay Jenson (Dylan) is the silent, strong nerd who mingles very less and keeps away from all drama. He’s the kind of guy that girls want, after they’re done fooling around with the wrong ones. Dylan’s excellent, especially the scenes where he struggles to accept and let people know that they were also the reasons that led to Hannah Baker’s suicide.
  • The depth of all the characters. Jessica, Alex, Justin, Bryce, Sheri Courtney, Zac, Tyler, Marcus, Ryan, Mr. Porter. All of these characters have a nice well defined edge to them – which I really love! Here’s my assessment of their characters:
    • Jessica – smart , beautiful, cared for by so many guys that she falls prey to her being the girlfriend of a popular boy.
    • Alex – Heart’s in the right place for this guy. He’s one of the characters who’s really evolved and relates to everything that the tapes said.
    • Justin – Sorry, but I’m gonna be crass here. He’s the asshole who let things happen. Who’s so troubled by his family, that he takes it out on others and cannot stand upto anyone, especially Bryce. I did feel very sorry for him though, because he just couldn’t handle himself, and so let others handle him instead.
    • Bryce – No comments here. Everyone who’s seen the series will know he’s probably the kid that should give an eff about girls. He sees them as nothing but pleasure bunnies, and the worst part is that he uses them as pleasure bunnies too.
    • Sheri – She’s this seemingly good kid with some shades. We all know such people in life – they are very sweet, and thus even small bad things they do can look a hundred times worse.
    • Courtney – She is the sly selfish one I can probably never ever forgive. This poser and liar is one helluva attention seeker who is projecting her sexual denial frustations onto the scapegoat here. Well Courtney – you can’t eat the cake and have it too!!
    • Zac – I’m not even going to say anything about this one.
    • Tyler – Ah. This one’s a real whiner – and a sneaky voyeur, if I may. He has got this need to know/uncover everything about everyone, which is just convenient for the bad ones, and quite inconvenient for the good.
    • Marcus – He is just the male version of Courtney.
    • Ryan – Ryan’s apparent timid nature irritates me – he is just a weird guy (read: different from normal) who wants to be noticed.
    • Mr. Porter – You know, I can never understand why Mr. Porter did what he had to do. The actor Derek Luke, has either done a great job of acting way too well, or has done a crappy job that I cannot understand – Mr. Porter never seems to take a lot of interest in students’ life as counsellor. He always looks to mind more about the legalities, and to not blow up the school’s reputation. His way of talking with the kids – I see it as disinterested, misguided and diffident. Till now, I do not know if this is because that’s how the character is, or whether the actor has done a bad job.

All in all, I think this series has got something none of us have –  the ability to show the truth as is. I’m so looking forward to the next season. Hannah – we all mourn your death! R.I.P.

P.S. Leave comments about what you think of the series! 🙂 and of my thoughts.

No, I’m not a feminist . I just want the world to be a better place to live in.

Day 1 : A minor girl raped by a 38 year old man.

Day 2 : Class II student raped by school gym teacher

Day 3 : Woman with a friend in an abandoned house at 10 PM; woman raped and the friend gagged and beaten up

Day 4 : Girl alleges that the father has sexually assaulted her. Father denies the claim , police to investigate.

It has become quite a routine now, to read all this either in page 1 or page 3 in our daily newspaper. But my childhood was different. We never had such news at all. People were not terrified to send their girls out after 7 PM, if really necessary. I still remember, my friends who were boys, would accompany me to my home, ensure I reach home and then would cycle their way back to their homes.

While I’m trying to see what is going wrong these days, I can also see that some girls are taking undue advantage of the fact that the society respects woman. What happened to the likes of our father, brother and friend ? All you third person males out there – Aren’t you having a sister or a mother or a daughter or a friend who needs a responsible male ? Westernization has occupied India very much , yes, but girls donot get raped back and forth in the West. Something is going terribly wrong these days- Isn’t India supposed to investigate the matter and change herself? We say mother India so proudly – A mother cannot tolerate her children doing wrong things repeatedly. She would either affectionately explain her kid that he/she has to stop doing what’s wrong, else beat him/her black and blue until he fears to even think of doing something wrong. I do not see Indians attempting to do either – Protesting with the police or the government will not help. The change should come from within. Every man should realise that he can face dire consequences and end up losing his life , for that 11 minutes that he wants to enjoy by unleashing himself onto some girl using force. Every guy should realise that his name and reputation might be terribly tainted if he thinks to treat a woman like she has no self respect. Every guy should realise that it is HIS duty to protect all his loved ones from men unlike him, by ensuring that he keeps his women away from such perverts. Girls should be taught to not trust any guy rightaway – they should pause , think and put their safety first ahead of “What if I do what i want, when I want? ” , because of a simple reason : Somehow, we are always the victim – never them.

As a last word , I have a sincere wish that I wish God grants me in my next birth – Dear God, Please make sure that in your next creation , a man is born with a uterus and vagina , and a woman is born with testes and penis. While we as women, would not want to take revenge for whatever’s happening in this birth, we would for sure love to see how men handle themselves, when force is unleashed on them.

Nothing makes a difference anymore!

What does it take to give a call to someone you have not been in touch with since ages? What does it take to reply to a long mail that a loved one sends you with a lot of fondness ? How did it work out before if it doesnot work out now? What went wrong now, what did not go right then? So many unanswered questions, so many confusing moments that lead to a revisit of every memory together.

Yes, I get it .. It is a basic misunderstanding that needs some talking out. That requires some patience and miccha-soccham care that’s still left. But what do you call a miser who spends money in excess, but love and care in careful amounts?

Time zone differences aren’t / shouldn’t be an excuse at all. May be that is why our wise ancestors avoided international travel. They might have had an inkling that so many things can go wrong at one time – even in friendship.

Well, I do muse and fret. But honestly, nothing makes a difference anymore!

“Don’t talk to me . Leave me please “

“No.. I cannot take it anymore. There’s a limit for my patience. I do care for you. Yes I do, and honestly, I care for you the most. Do you know why? Because you are my best friend. And you are supposed to be feeling the same way too. But what do you do? You don’t even call and wish me on my birthday. Sending a text, or putting up a long birthday post (in a social medium) isn’t enough for me. Couldn’t you have spent a minute for me in wishing me over voice, over the phone? How much could it cost you, a few bucks? Yes, I do know that you are starting your new job today, but I still think you could spend a minute to wish your best friend a happy birthday. You know why I am making this (small thing) an issue? It’s because your one minute wish means the best to me. To hear your voice utter those wonderful wishes for me, that is what I want from you. It surely didn’t matter to you, and after the long exchanges of messages, it still doesn’t matter to you that I wanted a wish (by voice) from you on my birthday, but that I fight with you (even) on my birthday. Enough of this madness. Let me not sit back at India, wishing for small things that you are not going to do for me. ” , says Ananya, who is disappointed with Vibheesh.

Vibheesh sees this long text and is thinking to himself “How much ever I try to make her understand, she doesn’t. She is my best friend and she cares a lot for me, but she never understands me. Why is that ? Is it because she is too egoistic to see the other side of any argument? Or is it because she cares too much for me, that the need to understand just goes away? Looks like she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. Let me put a full stop to this incessant yapping. ”

Vibheesh’s reply : “See An, I couldn’t call you because I couldn’t. I was stuck up at work. This was my first day at work, and how could I mess it up? To be clear, I did wish you over messages and posts. When I wish you over the post, you fight telling I didn’t insert a picture of ours. I didn’t want to extend the fight on your birthday. But let me tell you something that you should probably understand first. It is your birthday, yes, and it is special for you. But grow up!! Expecting people to call and wish you, and spoiling your happiness over the fact that they didn’t call is foolishness. You’ve got to stop expecting people to treat you special on their birthday. People have works, priorities and commitments . See your parents –  they don’t get upset over not getting calls from their folks. They accept it. I’ve always told you this , do not expect too much. The way you are accusing me of not calling, it even makes me feel guilty for not calling you. So please!! Understand. You never understand me. You always fight with me, and I always try to make it ok. Even now, see, you shouted , and now you want to go away from me. Go, if that is what you want. I will not stop you. It’s time you learn your lesson the hard way. Bye”

Here goes this argument. Ananya has stopped talking with Vibheesh. Ananya cannot stop expecting, and Vibheesh wants Ananya to grow up. Their constant bickering : Does it mean they don’t value their friendship? That they allow petty things to break their friendship that has been built over 5 awesome years? Ananya wants to walk out, and isn’t stopped by Vibheesh here. Isn’t a friend supposed to stop another friend from walking out of his/her life? More than friends, are they just man-woman , with their ego overshadowing their care for each other?

After a few days, Ananya’s anger subsided. In spite of all the differences they’ve had , she always has loved Vibheesh. Ananya decided to take the first step of apologizing. Ananya thinks she is right this time. That she doesn’t want such a person in her life. But she has really loved him. How can she let him go? She messages him and asks if they can resume their talking, that it has been a while, and that her care for him matters more to her. Vibheesh replies, “No. Let us face the fact that we are not right for each other. Let us not spoil some beautiful memories. Let it be this way. Don’t talk to me. Stand still with your point, that you will not talk with me ever again. Bye”.

Ananya knew it the moment she sent that text, that he wouldn’t be ready. Well, as you sow, so you reap.


My key to happiness <3

I’ve often observed people to be NOT happy. They are caring, sad, sorrowful, irritated, angry, proud and a lot of other emotions, but never happy. Today , as I went outside , I saw a man taking his son for a walk and he seemed disturbed . There was another saleswoman in the showroom we went to, wherein she was irritated at every single customer who was approaching her. It was a busy day, so quite understandable. After I got the item i wanted , I was content, but wasn’t happy. My dad was satisfied with the purchase. Everyone is everything , but happy. Why is that ? Why aren’t people always happy?

Coming to think of it, how do people make themselves happy? Let me jot down a few points and check :

  1. Getting themselves gifts ( ie electronic gadgets, dresses, cosmetic items)

  2. Getting others gifts

  3. Spending time with a loved one

  4. Planning on doing something and achieving it

  5. Helping others

These are very generic , and I can think of at least thousand things like this. So, why am I writing this post now? Because I think this is going to make me happy. So let me think of ten things that make me happy.

  1. Going to temple and informing God about the big list of things to be done.

  2. Talking with my brother

  3. A call from my best friend(s), or a long whatsapp chat with them

  4. A beautiful set of earrings, a necklace set, golden bangles ❤

  5. A colourful kurta that fits me perfectly 😀

  6. The Sambar and Rasam that my mom makes for me

  7. A get-together with cousins

  8. A 10-hour sleep on my bed

  9. Watching my favorite serial on time 😛

  10. Daydreaming

If I were a bird, happiness would be my wings. Happiness makes people 100% productive. So guys , lets all keep ourselves happy. If things are going bad and making you sad, remember that worrying isn’t going to make it good, but accepting it is going to make your next step easy. So come on, prepare your happy-list and start being happy 😀